(via thegh0st-inyou)
You know what I REALLY hate? How my mom doesn’t trust me. I haven’t even done anything to break that trust in such a long time yet I feel like I’m a four year old.
If it was just my boyfriend and I somewhere I would call because I know the rules. I know I’m supposed to go to bed at 10 and I do, just because I have an iPod which you keep in your room every night doesn’t mean I’ll stay up on it, I pass out around 10 anyway and you know this!
Dad trusts me, why can’t you? I’m almost 17. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I don’t go sneaking and and have sex with people. I dont get on the internet an chat with creepy old men or look at things im not supposed to, so what’s the problem? If I want to go out with someone you don’t really know, that doesn’t mean that they’re a bad kid. I’m old enough to make the decision of if they’re good friends or not.
Do you just like being in control of everything? Including my life? Key words there are MY LIFE! let me live my life from time to time ok?! I go out With the same dang people every weekend and you know what we do? We don’t sneak of into rooms and do things, we don’t go off and smoke pot somewhere. We sit on the couch, watch movies, play video games and go swimming. Thrilling huh?
The reason why we don’t have a good relationship is partially because of my attitude but most of the time I have an attitude is because of yours or because you’re going on and on and on about something that doesn’t even need to be addressed or addressed again and again and again. I’m not stupid, I can remember things like “make sure you and your boyfriend aren’t alone together” “you need to get your grades up” “you need to stop eating like that and lose some weight” EAT LIKE WHAT?! all you have in the house is all natural and organic crap, and you know as well as I do that I eat a dang good breakfast and lunch because I show you what I eat.
And yeah I know I need to get my grades up I’ve been busting my butt doing extra credit assignment after extra credit assignment after make up test after make up test. I would have no problem flunking out… But I know that you’d like disown me or something.
What I think is hilarious is amber is the one who goes off and gets pregnant at 19, isn’t married, is in the muddles of trying to get full custody and you still trust her more that your 17 year old daughter who sits in her room all day. Yeah that makes sense.
You can call this what you want, what is it you always say? Oh! Dramatic, stupid, childish, selfish… But that doesn’t make any of this less true. I’m ready to get a job, a car, an apartment and move out. Or apply for emancipation or something that. I don’t feel like your daughter, I don’t feel like you love me, I don’t feel like I’m good enough… Because the truth is, nothing is good enough for you.
Amazing night with the boyfriend.
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(via pansymandy)
For 16 years straight you’ve been harping me about losing weight. And I try all the time and I’ve tried everything. It’s not easy for dad and I like it is for you. You’re naturally skinny, dad and I have to work out for hours before we see any improvement and go one diets and crap like that.
I’ve noticed you’ve done this before but I didn’t think anything of it till now.
If I want to go out with you and get something we always get subway or some other healthy crap from whole foods that tastes like cardboard.
If amber or Jesse go out with you somewhere you take them to Dairy Queen, doughboy doughnuts, U-Swirl, Starbucks and all these places that I love.
If you want dessert you purposely get crap I won’t like so I won’t eat it and then you tell me I can make something myself. Well I would do that but you don’t get anything so I can make something.
I get that I’m not skinny enough for you or pretty enough or good enough. I’ve been subliminally told that every day of my life. You wonder why we don’t have a good relationship an it’s because you do stuff like this and think I won’t notice! I’m not freaking stupid!
Honesty… It freaks me out… It’s just something I can’t do. Every time I get on the phone I feel like throwing up, and that’s with anyone. It’s a stupid phobia to have but I’ve got it pretty bad, I can handle maybe a two minute conversation that consists of me only saying “ok” but that’s it. I didn’t ask to be made this way with a zillion fears and phobias that are small and stupid… But it’s the way I’m made… Nothing’s going to change that. It’s never changed it’s not going to start now.